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Getting to know the congregation

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by abcgrad94, Jun 6, 2012.

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  1. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94 Active Member

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    We have a tiny congregation, many of which are widows, unmarried women, or divorced women. Some of the married women who come have husbands who will not attend.

    Some of these just come on Sunday mornings so we haven't gotten to know them and spend time with them much. A few we've invited over for dinner or have taken them out to eat, and have established good relationships with them. What can we do to better minister to those who just "don't go anywhere" or don't come to church that often? We've sent cards and I try to make phone calls occasionally, but other than that, what can we do, especially when the husbands have no interest in coming or even getting to know us?

    I don't want these ladies to fall by the wayside or feel overlooked.
     
    #1 abcgrad94, Jun 6, 2012
  2. annsni

    annsni Well-Known Member
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    We're in a similar situation.

    Can you put together a small team of able bodied people to go to one home each weekend to do some work around the house? We have one woman who's husband left her and the 3 kids - and she hurt her leg badly. She never got the yard cleaned up in the fall so we went over and did all the yard work, planted flowers and gave her a $100 gift certificate to the local grocery store. :)

    Another thought would be to just ask them if you (or you and a couple of other ladies) could stop by for tea - and you will bring everything with you!! Tell her that she just needs to boil the water and that you will bring the cups, plates, tea and cookies. Then visit for an hour and that's it.

    I think there are some who just will never allow you "in" and that's OK. You do your best and that's all you can do.
     
    #2 annsni, Jun 6, 2012
  3. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O. Moderator
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    Oh, that's what I was thinking! We have two women in my church - one divorced and one widowed - whose houses flooded this year. Several people took on the daunting task of clean up. And let me tell you - that doesn't just happen on a weekend. This took a huge committment on these people's part and you could tell that the two ladies (who had no family to help them) were amazed at the level of long term and sincere help they received.


    That's very true. Doing your best to cultivate the relationship is important.

    On the other hand, some people who ARE divorced, widowed, never married have tough shells that are there for a reason and they are hesitant about letting that shell get cracked. Sometimes it takes a lot of time and patience.
     
    #3 Scarlett O., Jun 6, 2012
  4. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Invite the husband/wife/family over to watch a ball game and cook out.

    It is always good as a single woman to know someone who can be a honey do for that special list.

    Old School: have a widows lunch and have them invite a guest to attend with them.

    Sort of old school: Have a car care stop at your church for those single women.

    Consider what would be a game changer for your community and do it.
     
    #4 SaggyWoman, Jun 6, 2012
  5. mandym

    mandym New Member

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    Hold Bible studies in their homes.
     
    #5 mandym, Jun 6, 2012
  6. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94 Active Member

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    This thread has over 200 views and only 4 replies. C'mon y'all, surely more of you have some suggestions?
     
    #6 abcgrad94, Jun 13, 2012
  7. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    One of the best ways to get to know a group of people is do life with them. Go to graduations. Do funerals. Do weddings. Go to basketball games. Sit out in the yard with them and drink koolaid or juice.
     
    #7 SaggyWoman, Jun 13, 2012
  8. USN2Pulpit

    USN2Pulpit New Member

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    Yes, I agree with the above post. No magic formula - just make sure that they know you really care. And the way to do that is "time."
     
    #8 USN2Pulpit, Jun 14, 2012
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