How appropiate is it 4 a Pastor to....

absolutely inappropriate ... :tear:

 

Not appropriate at all under any circumstances! This guy's looking for trouble.

 

That's completely over the line.

One wonders why he would say this.

 

The mouth speaks from the heart. I think it mostly tells a lot about that pastor.

 

Extremely inappropriate for him to do this!!! I would be ashamed to be married to someone like this!

 

No good for the man of God, I wonder if he feels the same about his Church.

 

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: No offense, but we don't know you. You've not been around long (with your current handle), and we're getting only the info you give us. I'm always a bit nervous answering stuff like this...you never know what folks are wanting these responses for. You may be a fine fella--please don't think I'm judging you. I'm just saying we're responding in good faith to a very sketchy amount of info. Having said that, and assuming your facts are accurate...

If this pastor is sharing this info with ladies, then I have little doubt he's "shopping" for a fling. He's asking for sympathy--especially in the sex area--because he's hoping for a little (or a lot of) action. Disturbing, but if you're accurate, I'm pretty sure I'm on target.

Even if he's sharing this with men, it sounds like he's "testing the waters." This pastor should probably resign and get into marital counseling.

If he's sharing this with an employee (secretary, pianist, etc.), then sexual harrassment might be part of the picture. Church officials (whoever that is in your situation--chairman of deacons, personnel chairman, or if you're not independent, a district head, bishop, etc.) need to be brought in ASAP.

 

Get out of this church immediately. Don't go back to this "pastor's" church. Ever. Terminate all contact with this pastor. Especially you. This guy was talking about sex to you, for cryin' out loud. He's lucky your husband didn't punch him in the nose. (I'm glad he didn't, but he'll get that from someone's husband pretty soon). After leaving this church, contact the church leadership and tell them why. If they leave this guy in, and your descriptions are accurate, then this isn't a "church," and it's run by idiots, and you did yourself a huge favor by leaving.

See my disclaimer above...I'm only commenting on what I can surmise are the facts.
This is a train wreck, and if you hang around you'll be in the middle of it.

 

I agree wholeheartedly with rbell's comments (disclaimer included) It's not your responsibility to sort his problems out, report it to an appropriate church officer, and leave well alone. Too easy for your sympathetic (or merely polite) listening to be misinterpreted, stick very close, and obviously so, to your husband and don't get yourself left alone with the 'pastor'.. and pray for him, the church, and yourselves.

Regards
Bob

 

I agree too. Even the absence due to burnout is probably a signal that he is in real emotional distress. He needs psychiatric as well as spiritual help. It's amazing that his wife has tolerated the public statements, and, if he will say this kind of thing to you, he has probably said it to others, and has said even more at home. I see a divorce coming ... but church leaders need to see if they can do more than punish him. They need to help him. But he cannot be a pastor under these circumstances.

 

I'm not sure your denominational background but - disclaimer included - you might want to contact denominational representatives. This guy doesn't need to be inflicted on any other congregation.

Not trying to hijack, but we Baptists need to do a better job of policing the serial abusers and predators in the ministry. I'm afraid that at times we erect a wall of silence instead of helping other churches get the info they need to make wise choices.

 

If this story is true, take it to other pastors or deacons immediately. This man should not be a pastor. He should be disciplined from his church, with his sin exposed so that others may fear (1 Tim 5:22).

 

I know this is tough, if it is true. But you cannot just "move on and let others deal with him." That is churches get ruined, lives get ruined, marriages get ruined, the gospel is harmed.

There is a lot more at stake here than simply you. If the elders stick by him, then leave. But if you do not make it known, along with your husband, then there is great danger.

There are two witnesses in this case, perhaps more. That meets the qualifications of 1 tim 5:22. If he is doing this to you, then it is likely he is doing it to other women as well. These things are typically not limited to one person.

So as tough as it is, you and your husband need to sit down with several deacons, probably in the presence of the pastor (depending on the church consitution), and make this known. If you just walk away, some other woman whose resistance may not be as strong as yours will be harmed by it.

But if you go public, you better not lie about it, or distort the truth in any way.

 

I agree with both Rbell (disclaimer too) and Larry. Especially when Larry said if you and your husband know this to be true, you must speak up. This is not someone else's problem. You said you both have been listening to this garbage for more than a year. It should have been dealt with from the beginning. Now that you are to this point, you must speak out, you must call out the warning. If others choose to stay with this pastor then the will have to deal with their decision, but you have listened and now have an obligation to the Body of Christ. Too many of these guys just get shipped off to another church to spread their poison. Stand up my sister and let not the evil continue.

Bro Tony

 

OK, this is another issue altogether. Address these with your husband, not with an Internet message board.

 

In a meeting with all of the deacons present.