Is my church too big?

There might be something wrong with you, but probably not.
I went a church of around 4500 people and at first I thought they weren't very friendly, but the more I was there the more I realized they were very friendly. I also went to a church of about 20 and almost everyone said "hi" but that's as far as went (frankly, I can get that kind of closeness from work.)

Your desire for fellowship is good, and I don't think the problem you listed is related to church size. Although larger churches do have the ability to allow more people to hide and not be bothered. But I'm pretty sure there are others there who feel the same way. What if next week you happen to sit next to someone who also feels alone... how will you know?

When I've felt most alone, I didn't really want to go around announcing that fact because I thought I was the only one. But as I met people, I discovered that often they felt the same way.

 

Start a small group fellowship . . . break bread, pray, and get to know each other? Then go witnessing.

of course, gb will add disciple each other.

 

Kiss um, that otta get a response... :laugh:

 

Gross!

Not every church is friendly. We went to one where I thought I'd never make a friend, then all the sudden it happened. Don't give up. Join those small groups. Work in the Media Center! I love that place :thumbsup:

 

Pr 18:24
¶ A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

According to Scripture, if you waana have friends then BE one.

Why not next Sunday you be the one reaching out? And show them the Friend who is in your heart which sticketh closer than a brother?

I am not scolding you, just offering some friendly advice. My home church just grew from about 900 to 1200 when we opened our new sacntuary. It seems at times that I am all alone also, but I remeber this verse and when I see someone I don't know, I give 'em a big dimpled grin and welcome them and tell 'em how good it is to see them in church.

Try it. You will fell better real quick.

 

I think you need to remember also that just because somone is a Christian, doesn't mean they will be friendly all the time, or to everyone. We still are humans with sin natures, too.

 

I have been in all kinds and visited all kinds. As a visitor, I don't want people touching me that much until I am ready to be touched. When I am ready, then I will approach. But everyone isn't that way.

I was a first time visitor at a church recently. The pastor said from the pulpit that everyone will need to greet everyone, and if you are visitor, watch out. I wondered why. He said it was because this was the huggingist church. I wasn't hugged. (not that I generically have a problem with not being hugged, but he shouldn't have said it like that.)

Church is what you make it, but you can't pull orange juice out of grapes.

 

Imho

Size has nothing to do with friendliness. Large and small can be rather smug or very friendly.

Find a small group and get involved. If you can't find one, consult the pastor or a staff member. They will plug you in. In not time at all you will probably be bragging on the friendliness of your church.

 

Some small chruches are file with evil while other large ones are filled with grace. Size is not the issue, but the capacity to love is.

 

My church is a pretty warm, loving church, but it's quite small. I surely would like to have the opportunity to see if we'd stay that way if we got bigger.

So, let's see, how much bigger? Well, our auditorium can seat about 350, so that's a good number. Oh, wait. In order for us to have 350 in our worship service, we'd need to have about a thousand members, right?

Never mind. We can't afford to give away enough Hummers to attract those numbers. I guess we'll just have to wait on God to do it.

 

We didn't give away any Hummers, but we DID outgrow our church that seated 350.

We built a new church, debt free, and it will be quite awhile before we outgrow it.

Preach the Word
Disciple the people
Go soulwinning

It will happen - all in God's time...

 

I serve in a large church where we have a lot of guests dropping in often. Most people are fairly friendly and we do have a brief time to say hi to people around us in the midst of our worship set.

For big churches to really do effective ministry you have to get small. The small group thing is huge. I suggest getting a small group together or finding one in you life stage (notice that's not age range) that already exists. You've got to get small to stay big.

As for unfriendly Christians, if I had to judge the quality of faith that we exhibit through our non-verbal communication on Sunday morning...I'd be deeply worried about the state of Christianity. Thankfully that's not a good barometer.

 

I with you.

I look forward to the time when people seek out my church because they've heard that it's pretty traditional, the preaching and teaching solidly biblical, the worship God-centered and the fellowship is sweet.

Jesus told his disciples, "you shall be my witnesses."

He also told them "I will build my church."

 

I think we are fooling ourselves to think that people will seek out a church because it is traditional, etc. Not that there aren't those kind of people still out there, but time is moving forward. You may be waiting in vain for people to come to your church because it is traditional. It may be time to let go of traditions that are just that......traditions. Many traditions have unfortunately been held to the level of Scripture. 1950s and 1960s traditions don't do anything in our culture except isolate ourselves from people. People that we ought to be reaching.

 

"Traditional" church has worked for us. Old fashioned hymns only. Gospel preaching. Invitation. Folks getting saved and discipled. Those who have been discipled reaching out and bringing others to old fashioned hymns, Gospel preaching, invitation, folks getting saved and discipled......

But of course, I live in such a backwards community that "we don' know no better.". Just ignore the fact that our community was listed as the best place to live, raise children, do buisiness, and enjoy clean recreation by Forbes magazine recently. And just ignore the fact that our community is the fastest growing town in America and the third largest community in the Northwest, next only to Portland OR and Seattle WA. Just ignore the fact that we have an unemployment rate of less than 3%.

We are so backwards that we believe what has worked in the past is not broken and doesn't need fixing. We look to Jesus, lift Him up and HE draws men to Him.

PS, and we ARE the friendliest church for many miles. We have many people who come from 75 to 100 miles just because of the things I listed.

Our new facility seats about 1200 and is filling up fast. We aren't fooling ourselves. People come to us when they move to this community BECAUSE we are "old fashioned" . We don't hold our 'traditions' to the level of Scripture, but Scripture is all we preach. No politics, issues, or warm fuzzies. Just Scripture, the WHOLE counsel of God and people respond to that.

 

Excellent post av1611jim! :thumbs: :godisgood:

 

AV1611jim,

Thanks for the encouragement. We're an aging church, although God has sent us some younger yuppie couples lately. The way we do it is the way we grew up doing it, so much of it is cultural, I acknowledge.

We ain't agin the new-fangled stuff so much as we know what we like and we like what we know.

We're not opposed to innovation. Shoot, we have a sound system and some wireless mikes. We've even been known to sing a 7-11 chorus on occasion. And raise our hands. And amen the preacher. And we like the Gaither stuff. And some of our folks actually have NIVs, NASBs and The Message.

dan e. has sounded a wise warning not to equate tradition with scripture. We don't. We don't equate motivational speeches wrapped in a scripture passage with preaching, either.

 

When I first took my bride to Treasure Valley Baptist Church in Meridian Idaho and she saw how "animated" the amens and hanky waving and raising of holy hands was: she whispered to me, "Jim, the FIRST one to start doing the fish in the aisle and I'm OUTTA HERE!"

She has since come to love it. It is big. Not 'mega' but big, a little intimidating I admit. If you are used to small, like 150 or so, then 1000 is intimidating.

But I say, trust God. That's all. Just trust Him. And see what happens. If whatever happens is bigger than anything any of you could pull off on your own, then it is usually God doing it. And that is exciting to be a part of.