Let it fall on me

Baba open your floodgates in heaven in abundance and cause your rain to fall on me. I am in your presence , let it rain. I am tires of hunger, homelessness and sickness.

If it is my sins, forgive me. If it is the sins of my forefathers, forgive me. If someone lay this on me, baba have mercy on me and give me bread.

 

My ancestors in Italy were so poor that the village ostracized them by calling them bonsi Gut… im told it means extended gut from the extended belly of someone starving to death. I was told they came to the USA because they didn’t want to see anymore children dying of starvation, sickness, poverty.

When they came to the USA they were shipped to Pennsylvania to work in the coal mines… my grandfather was 8 years old. He helped provide food for his younger brother and sisters. I could tell you many stories, none of my family had a pot to piss in… for years. Children died, got sick, were sent to foundling homes etc. So we know hardship, living here wasn’t easy. I had a great grandfather who escaped Soviet occupation in his country, and was chased across Europe till he got to the USA and started his life. It isn’t easy, they all worked their arses off. The Catholics call this suffering, Carrying Your Cross.

As for my beliefs, Jesus is always with me…. There is a song that goes Jesus was always there… In the fire, in the flood, He was always there. So very true.

Have you had any luck with any of these agency’s like the Red Cross? You really need to get out of there… just don’t give up!

 

From the depths of my soul flow tears Which translate my silences. I wish my life was a flower, a perfume for the Lord, a perfume of good smell Before his throne that I can spread myself all around. Like clay before the potter, he could give me the shape that pleases him.

I read in a article that 55 million people die every year, about 2 deaths per second. In the time I took to write this sentence, 10 people have died and for me to complete this message, 1200 people will die. By the end of today, 150,000 people would have died. Every 6 months, the entire population of Cameroon is wiped out.

Behind each of these deaths was a father, mother, friend, lover, son, daughter, brother, sister, musician, doctor, teacher, inventor, business tycoon, king, emperor, thief, robber, rapist, murderer, dictator, lawyer. Behind each of these deaths was someone who lived a life not unlike mine. Each with his or her own struggles, dreams, hopes, fears, dissapointments.

I discovered that life is not about achieving the lofty greatness of Shakespeare or Einstein or Napoleon? Perhaps life is about our personal impact on others.

With this in mind, and considering the number of living things and unimaginably long timespan, "is there any purpose to life? Nature is a blind machine.

Suffering? That’s not the purpose of life. It’s merely the consequence of life.

I just modified the article to look like my writeup. My cry for the Lord today is in Psalm 13.
Psalm 13:1-6 KJV
How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever? How long wilt thou hide thy face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, Having sorrow in my heart daily? How long shall mine enemy be exalted over me? Consider and hear me, O LORD my God: Lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death; Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him; And those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved. But I have trusted in thy mercy; My heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the LORD, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.

 

I’m a lover of the psalms…. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul. Yes, tho I walk through the valley of death I will fear no evil, for you are with me.

My people were shepherds and guides ( thus the name Guida)in the old country of Italy. It is a beautiful country however they were poor so after the fires, floods, wars, starvation, sickness, death they decided on a new life in the USA. They moved away from their language, their culture, their land and moved to an industrial area and went to work digging coal. They built homes to accommodate sisters and brothers and began sharing the roof, the meals and provided for the offspring. In time they forgot Italy and intermarried with other races and taught these kids a trade or educated them beyond their wildest dreams. And that’s my families history. But 1st it starts with you have to get out, you have to move, you have to accept jobs that will be hard to put food on the table and out of that you make a life. I pray that you can negotiate your way out of the bad places into the places where life does exist because it awaits you.

 

I have plans to move to any safe place. I have been trusting God for a means to move to Gabon or Equatorial Guinness. I also had at the back of my mind to move to Italy through the Mediterranean sea but the Lord told me "no".

Moving to a strange land, I never to have the means to go there. Of I am able, even today, I will be going.

 

Africa is full of opportunities. If I find myself in a safer place I can improvise even without a job.