Mixed Swimming - Acceptable or Not?

mnw, I understand what you are saying. However, guys and girls are going to all struggle with sin in that area regardless of whether they swim together or not.

 

This attitude most of you have adopted towards mnw is exactly what he was first posting about! He has a standard of no IMMODEST swimming (we can swim modestly and maintain our standard), and yet it is CHRISTIANS who call him names and claim he is a Pharisee and is going too far into the extreme. Why would a Christian attack a brother who is trying to maintain a standard of modesty for himself and his family? Why would you all do that to him? And DeeJay, no his standard should NOT be fought against. If it's not his business what YOU wear at the pool, then why is it your business what HE wears?
and Scarlett, my friend who I usually agree with wholeheartedly, I in no way think that this thread was all about the "inability for men to control themselves and the evils of the womanly form."

But let me add, does the BIble say "withstand lust because that means that you are a strong Christian" OR does it say "flee youthful lusts"? Which one, BIble scholars?

Especially in the area of lust and immodesty we are to FLEE, we are to do our best to AVOID the temptation. We are NOT told to stand up to this particular pitfall. So, if that means I can't bring my family to a busy beach full of people (BOTH genders) wearing things that are not only immodest but look bad on them, then so be it. I will survive, my kids will survive, and they will have a full life in spite of not going to a beach very much. This is from a California raised gal who had plenty of opportunities to go to the beach. I know there are plenty of beaches that are virtually vacant most of the year where we would go and have a blast without all that skin showing. It was great.

If you PARENTS act like it is a big deal to HAVE to dress modestly than your kids will see it as a hassle too, and will resent you making them dress right. But if you present it as just normal, and give reasoned responses to their questions, they accept it with gladness. You have to have your kid's heart, thats the issue.

I do think this is an area where Christians have obviously let the world's thinking creep in. They think that they can go to a beach and dress in a way that shows most if not all of their body, and also be looking at other people dressed that way, and that's fine. They think this makes them a stronger Christian somehow. No, it most likely means they've become desensitized to it and don't even realize it. There is such a thing as having your conscience seared. So, as a Christian, just because something doesn't "bother" you, doesn't mean that it doesn't bother God.

 

Mnw,

My husband is a former paramedic and has "blood-borne pathogen" classes at the pool for the lifeguards which bothers me, which I tell myself is completely silly. I trust him not to do or say anything inappropriate--that isn't the point. I'm sure I don't have to spell the point out.

He probably wouldn't like it either if I taught CPR to a class of shirtless construction workers.

I have casually asked him if he has to keep teaching them since he no longer is a paramedic, and he said reluctantly, "well...." It isn't necessary for him to do this since he hasn't been certified as a paramedic for three years now. I doubt it would bother me much to teach construction workers either--hello.

Is that extreme to feel this way? I feel irritated and at the same time--silly. Like I said, I haven't reacted or told him anything other than asking him if it is really necessary.

Ciela

P.S. Bapmom, you hit the nail on the head--straight on.

 

Bapmom,

Let's be careful not to get carried away, only one person inappropriately (in my opinion) called mnw a name. The rest have been sharing their views which is why the subject was brought up. I continually am amazed that someone brings up a subject and then gets offended when there are those who disagree.

Again, this matter of modesty or extremes always comes back to the eye of the beholder and the work of the Holy Spirit in the life of the individual believer. We have seen everything from burkas to bikinis----where do you draw the line? Which is biblical? How do you know? And are your standards the standards that all must meet to be right with God?

Bro Tony

 

Ciela,

you have the right, as his wife, to express this to him in a kind and loving way. Talk to him about it like you just talked to us about it. Perhpas he has some real reason that it is necessary that he hasn't realized you needed to hear. Maybe he has some answers that would put your mind at ease. But as his wife you have the right to be bothered by it, and I say that because you already said you trust him.
WHen real trust is met with something that seems out of kilter than real trust has the confidence to ask him about it more pointedly.
As long as you aren't accusing him and assuming things than go ahead and talk to him more about it.

 

Mnw, okay. I really would like another perspective. Thank you.

 

And just because something bothers you, does not mean it bothers God.

 

Bro Tony,

the name calling isn't the only thing.....it was the mocking tone that many posts contained that also got me riled up. But there's been alot of people who's basic response is "well then we can't go here, or there, or here. Hey, 4 pages of it magically appeared here after I went to bed last night. :laugh: See? I can still laugh about it. But you see, when you are conscious of those things then yes, you might not be able to go to the same places you've always gone to. I frankly avoid the malls as much as I can. I especially did that in California, as where I lived it was virtually the same as going to the beach when it came to what people were wearing. And yeah, I'll avoid some aisles in the grocery store because of what's on the magazine rack. Ive even politely complained to the management of one store because of a particular magazine they had on the checkout aisle rack.

It has just always amazed me that it is other Christians who we are not safe with when we have certain standards.


Drawing the line.......I think most of us understand what is modest and what is not. Those who have said they think swimsuits can be modest....I don't know what world they live in. Sure they can be feminine, but lingerie is feminine too, that doesn't mean it ought to be for public consumption.


ps. I absolutely love swimming

 

MNW,

I was not specifically referring to anything you said but was trying to point out that the tendency here on the board is to become the martyr when someone dissagrees. I too think that all name calling is inappropriate. There are those who use sarcasm to make their points--as long as it is understood as such I see no problem with it.

I have no problem with your position---as long as it continues to be presented as your position. But when a question is asked in an open forum, you are going to get those who disagree. The problem I have is when people tell me that their standards (not the Bibles) are the standards for everyone. And I am not saying you did this.

Bro Tony

 

You know, I don't even agree with MNW's position, but I do agree that he has been treated poorly in this discussion. I find that most of the time when one Christian calls another Christian a Pharisee (and others chime in and applaud) it just turns my stomach. In fact, the self-proclaimed Spirit-led Christian actually comes off much more Pharisaical than the one they are accusing. It reminds me of the Pharisee and the Publican where the Pharisee thanks God that he is not like the Publican.

To call another brother a Pharisee is really out of line. The Pharisees weren't even believers - they rejected Christ. Is that what we really think of someone who disagrees with our convictions? It's not like MNW has made this a test of salvation! I think an apology is in order from the accuser and from anyone else who piled on.

 

Bapmom,

Thank you for your response. I have no problem with how you have chosen to live your life and what you avoid in order to keep yourself where the Lord wants you. You said you think most of us understand modesty, now how long have you been here? If that were true then this thread and others like it would not go so many pages. How many here would say that women wearing pants is immodest? How about shorts on women? I become concerned only when people try to become the Holy Spirit for others and make their standard the required standard for all other Christians (again I am not saying you or MNW did this).

All name calling and personal ridicule is inappropriate, but if a person brings up a standard issue on this board you know it is going to be challenged. What other reason is there to bring it up? Some will challenge strongly and some will cross the line, but we all need to be careful not to fall into the martyr roll, as happens far too often in discussions.

Bro Tony

 

I agree with Andy 100%:thumbs:

Bro Tony

 

I apologize for amening the Pharisee remark. That was a poor choice.

I agree with this statement and I think this happens a lot around here as well.

The problem I have with discussions on these type of subjects is how some people (not saying mnw did this) try to set their "standard" as God's standard for all believers.

If God's Word gives us a clear standard on a subject then we should stand firm on it with both feet. However, standards of man need to be handled very carefully and not made as standards for all.

 

You make a good point, Bro Tony,

thank you! :wavey:

 

Your welcome and God bless. I really enjoy hearing how God is leading others. It makes me stop and look at the way I see things and am living and causes me to try to listen closer to what the Lord is saying through His Word and His Spirit.

Bro Tony

 

Haven't read every post here, but did read the first several pages.
So...don't know if this has been shared or not.

But, in the interest of modest swimwear for women, following are two links that might be considered by the serious inquirer.

http://www.swimmodest.com

http://www.modest-swimwear.net


Mixed swimming...yes...with modesty being a must. It can be done. Our son swims with a sleeveless tank and long swim shorts. Our daughter swims in long loose swim shorts with a loose sleeveless tank which is modest around arms and neck line. Yes, people can swim modest. The reason they don't is obvious, they want to show off the flesh. We are all liars if we deny that fact. If your hearts desire is to be modest and discreet, you will do so and you won't care if people call you legalistic because of it. You'll be doing it for the Lord and that is what truly matters. If you desire for your sons and daughters to have these same morals, you will teach it to them and challenge them to live by a higher standard than the world.

Okay, that's my .02!

 

I like those modest swim links. But you gotta wonder how they look sopping wet!

I am curious how many of the men here strip their shirt off while doing lawn work. It seems like every man in America thinks nothing of mowing the lawn in a pair of shorts and it is so uncomfortable to look out the window and see your neighbors half-clothed. Do I keep my family away from our own yard?

 

So now there is a problem with a man mowing the yard without a shirt ...

Goodness, where will the madness end?