on the subject of gossip.....

If you couldn't have gotten an answer without revealing the personal information, eventually or otherwise, then you should not have started the thread.

 

JD,

The only place that gossip is labeled sinful is when it is tied into "bear false wittness."

As to gossip:

I didn't make the man naked. I bent over backwards NOT to identify him, and NOT to get get into details.

I didn't slander the man. I didn't identify the man. Nor did I accuse him of anything.

I said, "These are the facts of his home life that give me concern," I didn't say, (and he doesn't do this, lest anyone get the wrong idea.) "He beats his wife."

I did say, "His children fear him, and that concerns me." Someone else pointed out that godly discipline by a parent that is really not dangerous or wrong can instill that same reaction.

I pointed out that his children have done some pretty sinful things, and yes, I stated what some of those were. Someone else pointed out that children of very godly men can do some pretty shameful things.

Again, I didn't come here saying, "Well, he did this and this and this to his kids, and look how THAT turned out."

I said things like, "I'm concerned that his kids fear him, and that his kids have had a lot of problems with sexual sin like fornication."

I didn't get into the gossip nonsense" "Oh, Mabel! Wait until you hear what I saw on Saturday night! I was down on main street, and I looked up and there was Harry, you know, Julie's husband? And he was walking down the street with Mary Jane, all close and intimate, not touching that I could see, but well, you know. But I heard his wife drinks. Oh, yes! Hon! You mean you didn't KNOW? Why, Tom's cousin's brother's fourth cousin's neighbor toold the fourth cousin, who told the brother, who told the cousin who told Tom HIMSELF that he saw he saw Julie walking down the street near that liquor store on Ave Z, and she was STAGGERING, and she had a bag in her hands too. Its just a SHAME."

(And in my made up little story, lets assume that Julie's car ran out of gas and she was carrying a bag of groceries while she looked for a gas station.)

I didn't pull that nonsense, and I wouldn't pull that nonsense, and to be put in the same category by you as someone who WOULD is just wrong of you and rude of you.

 

I have not posted on or even read this thread. (the first one in question)

This makes it gossip.
My pastor says if you aren't part of the problem or part of the solution then it's gossip. If you are not invloved in the situation in question but are speaking about it anyway, then it's gossip.

Thread number 2, the op is part of it, talking about his wife's situation(makes him part of it, and it's his own church business, not someone elses). He is asking about him and his wife's expereince asking opinions of the situation, basically asking if him and his wife are seeing this wrong, or have the wrong opinion.
But I supose some could still label it gossip. I wouldn't.

 

Just an interesting note according to

Every biography ever written would be gossip. Because although the author is not spreading rumors, he is telling people the personal details of someone's life.

 

Donna,

The man is a former member of a church which I belonged to, and is being reviewed for a position with a church in another state.

Prior to his leaving town, and to my leaving the church he was part of, certain things came out to a very select group of people. Mainly, we were asked to intervene.

Now, the church that wants to hire him KNOWS his old church home. They contacted the old church home and said, "Do you recommend him?" A deacon came to me and said, "You know what I know. Would you recommend? What should I say?"

That is how it became my problem.

How is that gossip?

 

James mentions in 3.5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! 6 And the tongue [is] a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. 7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: 8 But the tongue can no man tame; [it is] an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. 9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. 10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. 11 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet [water] and bitter? 12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so [can] no fountain both yield salt water and fresh. 13 Who [is] a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.

 

I never read the initial thread other than to comment on this one, but I think a fair response would include both good and bad qualities of the candidate relevant to the position and let the church decide based on their values. I believe a person's relationship with their family is a relevant condition for a pastor.

 

By coming here and telling everyone here. You know more details then we do, you should know the answer to your question, without telling everyone about it.

 

Donna,

As I stated before, I wanted Christian advice.

I thought Christians were supposed to turn to one another for advice, guidance and counseling.

 

I have a question, would it have been considered "gossip" if TS had gone to a pastor (obviously not the one involved)? Why?

I'm just wondering, because I think she's right about seeking counsel from other Christians, and how can we get counsel if we can't say anything?

 

What if these two incidents had been prayer requests? Would that have been Okay?

 

It's been said (somewhat jokingly) "If it weren't for the Wednesday night prayer meeting, I wouldn't know what was going on in with the people in the church."

 

I am utterly amazed at the calm repeated reasoning of TS who has had to explain over and over and over again her position. If that isn't an exercise in self-discipline and patience, I don't know what is. She hasn't fled the boards in disgust but has remained and fought each onslaught with courage. I've got to look up to someone of that fortitude.

 

Oh that's right.... you and I talked about this on another thread. My feeling is that in a prayer request you need as much detail as you can get so that you can agree with them in prayer for the same things. Being specific counts. So I would have to answer YES to your question and say too that it is okay even now given the details as provided by TS.

 

BillyMac, that is exactly the point I was trying to make. TexasSky asked for advice and gave the necessary details without naming a person just as someone might give necessary details for a prayer request. She needed guidance in what to do and asked for help.

 

Well put Thankful and BillyMac!